If, however, you do as you have been trained to do, and blame your feelings on the person or situation that inspires your resistance to love, then you remain their helpless victim. If, however, you do as you have been trained to do, and blame your feelings on the person or situation that inspires your resistance to love, then you remain their helpless victim.
In truth, they inspire your resistance to love but do not cause it. This is a fine point, but one worth taking in. If someone is unkind to you, this does not resonate with you, no matter how trained you have been as a child, to expect unkindness. Something deep within you knows you want to feel loved. As a result, unkindness, no matter how familiar it may be, will never feel good.
Your bad feelings are telling you something. They are giving you a wealth of valuable information. They tell you to change your thoughts, your actions, or your focus.
This unkind behavior may have activated feelings of being unloved or unworthy of love. It may trigger feelings of being misunderstood. You may actually be unloved and misunderstood by the unkind individual. Your bad feelings, however, come from resistance to the love that is trying to flow to you – not through them, of course – but rather from the never-ending stream of love from the Source.
If someone offered you bad food from a buffet, wouldn’t you rather allow the chef to provide you with delicious food? Would you waste your time arguing with the individual offering bad food, or wouldn’t you rather simply receive the good?
Likewise, people, through their unkindness, offer you “bad food.” The Source is always offering “good food!” Source is constantly transmitting good vibrations to you. “Your worthiness does not require another’s agreement. I love you as you are.” “Your value does not require another’s understanding. I understand you.” “You do not need to convince this individual of your goodness. You are good.” Love says, “You be you and let others learn from their own actions.”
Your bad feelings tell you that you are resisting this flow of love. Your good feelings tell you that you are allowing it. If you find yourself stuck in bad-feeling emotions, pay attention. How is love trying to guide you to change your thoughts, actions, or focus?
Love may guide you to change your thoughts about a person or situation. Instead of taking this person’s behavior personally, you may be inspired to see through the eyes of your soul. “They are hurting. Their words mean nothing about me and everything about their own pain. Happy people don’t hurt others.” You may even feel compassion for both of you in this unpleasant dance. As you feel compassion, you feel love. As you feel love, you feel better. You are allowing love to flow to you and through you.
Love may guide you to change your actions. You may have the urge to walk away from this relationship, to ignore the unkindness, or to spend more time around kinder people. For example, if you have an unpleasant spouse, you may be motivated to get out of the house, spend time with friends, or engage in other activities that lift you above the unpleasantness, so it bounces off you more easily when you are around it. Your better feelings around friends, or when engaged in hobbies, help you to open to the flow of love. You feel better.
Love may guide you to change your focus. Using the example above, suppose you have a spouse who drinks or gets frustrated and repeatedly aims their pain at you. While some of you would be inspired to leave, others, for a variety of reasons, would be inspired to stay in this relationship. Love may be whispering, “Change your focus.”
You learn to tune out the anger rather than thinking about it or having to do something different. You learn to focus on your more pleasant thoughts. When they’re angry and nasty, you may be focused, like a mom with a tantrum-throwing-two-year-old on making your dinner. Removing your focus from unpleasant situations can also open you up to feeling love in other, better areas of life.
Contrary to popular opinion, distracting yourself with something truly better feeling, avoiding unpleasantness, or even putting something unpleasant behind you, if you truly can, is often love’s guidance! Love never says, “Eat the bad food and like it!” Likewise, love wouldn’t tell you you must like something or someone you don’t resonate with.
Love never encourages you to “endure the suffering so you can learn from it.” Love doesn’t suggest you make yourself or one another wrong. Love doesn’t even require “completion” in the traditional sense with a given person or situation.
Love wants for you, instead, to recognize the value in all things and all beings. They provide the contrast that inspires your creation. Love wants to help you out of your suffering. Love wants you to live and let live. Love says you are complete with something unpleasant the moment you disconnect your energy from the unpleasantness and allow love to flow into your heart. Even if you leave an abusive relationship and the process is long and messy, the minute you allow love into your life, mind, and heart in any way, you are complete. You are no longer resisting love.
Pay attention to your feelings. They tell you about you. They tell you about the degree to which you are resisting or allowing love. You need not resolve everything with everyone. You need only to resolve your relationship with love’s flow. Listen to your feelings. They help you find your way – one feeling at a time – back to allowing the steady stream of love you have called for to flow into every area of your life.
God Bless You! We love you so very much.
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