I recently had an amazing session with my chiropractor that does so much more than chiropractic. Lately, we’ve been working on my feet. I’ve been experiencing foot pains/misalignment that is characteristic of someone with a spinal fusion. Yet, I knew it wasn’t about the fusion but something completely deeper. I have had to consistently work with my foot chakras to keep them open.
As we were working, I told him about my foot pain and how I believe it is correlated to not being able to fully ground through my feet. As I was saying these words, I had a vision of my feet in sandals, I was in a long skirt or tunic down to my ankles. The ground beneath my feet was a red/brown rocky earth. I could feel that with every step I took I was anchored into the earth. Through the roots I felt coming from my feet I shared myself with the earth and she shared herself with me. I felt such a deep connection, happiness, and purpose.
I knew I was being shown my lifetime as an Essene. I explored this lifetime about 18 months ago during a QHHT session. I had gone into the session with the hopes of understanding this deep fear that I had of doing something wrong. It was a block that I had pushed against my whole life. During the QHHT session, I was guided to the lifetime where the imprint/programming was created.
I saw myself running up a hill, I was in a panic. My heart was in my throat. My mind was full of prayers that what I feared couldn’t be true. I crested the hill to see a large field with so many crucifixes lined up. My insides shook as I began to run down the hill towards the field. As soon as I got close enough to see the people being crucified and I knew that they were my fellow brother and sister Essenes. My horror only grew as I realized that children and young adults were not spared either. I couldn’t believe my eyes. We all knew that we were at risk and the more the people demanded a sacrifice, an end to the upheaval created by Yeshua, the greater the danger became. We had even begun hiding, laying low.
Yet, never in my wildest dreams did I think they would do this to those they caught. I knew these people, I loved these people. My intention was brought to a particular crucifix and to my absolute horror I realized it was my grandson. He was a proud strong young man, that must have fought with all of his might as his face was swollen, and his body was bloodied and bruised.
It was like my world stopped and the most wretched sound came forth from me as I screamed “My grandson is being crucified!!!” People dragged me away so that I too wouldn’t be caught as I had just identified myself.
I kept thinking that I had done everything right. I was devout, I followed the rules. I had worked for years and years to help bring the child of light, Yeshua, into the world. I had worked to plant seeds for the time when many children of light would come in. I lived a heart-centered life full of connection, I had helped so many and yet this tragedy had befallen me. It was truly a “Why God have you forsaken me?” moment. My traumatized mind came to only one conclusion, I must have done something wrong. I must have sinned or failed God in something way.
The QHHT practitioner pulled me from the scene so that I could see it from a higher perspective and detach from the emotion. She said that I had made this keening sound and my body was arching on the table. It was a very visceral reaction.
From a higher perspective, I began working with my highest aspect. She explained that within the human experience is the duality of right/wrong, good/bad, light/dark, and all of this leads to the system of punishment and reward.
Within this duality programming comes the belief that if someone is right, good, light, etc they will live a life of reward. Likewise, if someone is wrong, bad, dark, etc they will be punished and experience pain. It is the heaven/hell paradigm playing out in everyday life.
On a logical level, we all know that this is nonsense. Painful, tragic things happen to good people all the time. Likewise, we can see those that could be judged as bad seemingly living a life of reward.
Yet, on a deeper subconscious level, we are not always able to hold on to that logic. We see this very clearly in abused children that deep within believe they must have deserved the abuse. We can even see the programming within the spiritual community in how karma is defined.
Many see karma as a good/bad, reward/punishment, or cause and effect.
It was explained to me from a higher perspective that it is all learning experiences. Not to be judged as good or bad, right or wrong. In that lifetime the soul that was my grandson wanted to experience extreme persecution for one’s beliefs. I agreed and contracted to assist him in that experience. For me, it was the experience that helped me to understand the dichotomy of feeling completely connected, held, purposeful, and still going through absolute devastation.
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