Dear Beautiful,
Throughout my life I have experienced a series of profound awakenings. Shifts that have radically expanded my awareness, freed me from crucial patterns of familial conditioning, and set ablaze in me a living transmission of healing energy that continues to serve the evolution of so many beings. Along the way of settling into this new abiding level of consciousness, I have had some rather mysterious symptoms that I have finally come to peace with. Here is my personal share.
For at least 14 years, which is both when my awakenings began ramping up as well as when I started working as a healer, my biggest challenge has been……..sleep. I get to that place of feeling ready to drift off into dreamland and as I witness my body resting — nothing happens. I have spent many restless nights meditating on my back, then one side, followed by another, rinse, repeat until the sun begins to shine. Many nights, I would eventually drift off, but would wake up feeling as if I didn’t get any credit for a night spent in bed.
Imagine me leading countless retreats and monthly events per year, 4 sessions a day, 5 days a week — all while only feeling rested by the meditation states I both live in and can access. In awakening, there can be an awareness of complications that while they no longer strike you as problem to judge, it doesn’t mean there isn’t something deeper to be examined, explored, and revealed.
I had heard over the years that when I sleep, I stop breathing. While my lack of sleep hadn’t been a problem for my abiding awareness, it was worth getting checked out at a sleep clinic study. This, along with running blood panels through a naturopathic doctor, the first doctor I had really been to in almost 6 years, would become my renewed dedication to personal wellness to balance out the incredible service I offer the world. Here were the results of my sleep study: If a total of 30 and above indicates advanced sleep apnea, I scored a 54. My average stop breathing time was 23 seconds, which occurred 54 times per hour. Holy bejesus batman! This is a situation. I was grateful for my high score, as it meant I now could survey my healing options.
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